He hurdles big canyons, goes down long pipelines, breaks bricks, collects coins, eats up magic mushrooms, flattens down the Goomba, knocks off the Koopa Troopa, fights the Bowser and finally rescues Princess Toadstool of the Mushroom Kingdom from the evil demon’s clutches.
This is Mario Segali, the dauntless plumber off on a big mission to save a life.
Until this, it is all mushy mushy, a very engaging game with very basic graphics. And do we not think, “Nintendo, you deserve a round of applause and Mario, you are our superhero!”
But is it really el Escenario Perfecto? No it isn’t. And here I am to tell you why.
Mario is sometimes the bad guy.
If you have played the game, you’ll get this better. Think about Goomba, the brown living mushroom and the very first hurdle that Mario encounters. It is a not-so harmful entity of the Mushroom Kingdom. You can surpass it without getting yourself hurt. But, in the game, you’ll end up crushing it down and killing it. That too for no good reason.
Where are his plumbing skills off to?
Have you noticed how those pipe lines are arranged? Some lead to the underworld or hidden worlds, others lead to the ocean and yet others lead to nowhere. And if bad luck be your fate, you may end up encountering some weird fire-spitting venus fly trap-like plant and kiss death.
But to sum it up, what’s got into the sewage system of the Mushroom Kingdom? And why is Mario Segali not doing anything about it? Princess Toadstool’s kingdom is into some sanitation peril. Serious sanitation peril.
Is the Bowser really bad?
As the story goes, the Mushroom Kingdom was only recently overtaken by the evil Bowser. Okay, he has the princess in captive. But, by no possible means has he set up that gothic, lava-filled castle and those nightmarish death traps within it all by himself. So, who has? It’s none other than the Toadstool family. No tell me who the villain is.
Further, looking at the huge number of Bowser supporters, only one thing clicks my mind – it might have been one hell of a rebellion, a nasty Toadstool vs Bowser war. Why else would that sweet princess have just a flat plumber and his mad brother as her only supporters?
If the case be so, he’s doing nothing to stop tyranny.
If the Princess Toadstool gets killed, Bowser will rule over the Mushroom Kingdom. And if she doesn’t she’ll rule over it. It’s a no-win situation for the dwellers of the kingdom both ways. It’s a tyrannous monarchy lurking out there and nobody, not even Mario Segali, will do anything to fight against it.
Mario is a greedy fatso.
He will do anything to have those coins hanging everywhere. He’ll kill innocent Goombas and Koopa Troopas to what not, just to enrich his pocketbook. And how’s saving the princess related to collecting gold coins on the way? I can smell greed.
And whatever was the kingdom’s wealth doing out in the open? Did the Toadstool family hide it in those bricks or amongst them so that no one could ever possibly find it? Or was it the Bowser handing it out to his dear followers? Whatever be the reason, with Mario around, the entire kingdom is getting bankrupt.
Damsels are always in distress. In games, that is.
Okay, this sounds like a feminist talk. But, Princess Toadstool hasn’t been given any real special power to be a part of the game. She has been kept much like a showpiece, a bait to motivate Mario for some kind of gold rush instead. Although the manual says that it’s only she who can bring back her subjects to life once again, in reality, nothing of that sort happens. Instead, it’s just a cold, so-unnecessary thanks from her side and the start of a new quest. And about solving the sewage problems and bankruptcy of the kingdom…ah, well, just forget it.
Super Mario was a great part of my childhood. But, with age came a little bit of wisdom and I saw how negativity was there screaming all over the game. As for the Mushroom Kingdom, it’s doomed, bankrupt and far from being hygienic.
What really was Nintendo thinking?